In Which Tommy Cannot Read

In Which Tommy Cannot Read

So, I'm done with my chores, and I'm reading through Fark, and I run across this entry, in which the New York Yankees' Shelley Duncan signed an autograph for a Red Sox fan in a way that's upset the kids' parents.

My first issue is that I misread Fark's headline, and even part of the story before I finally caught up. When I clicked the story, I had to ask:

"Why the hell is a kid asking for Sandy Duncan's autograph?"

And:

"Why would Sandy Duncan do that? She was Peter Pan, and the star of The Hogan Family. What the heck would she have against the Sox? Is she that big a Yankee fan?"

But, it's Shelley Duncan. Son of pitching coach Dave, not the star of an NBC sitcom.

Anyway. I have no real way to close this little bemusing anecdote of my inability to read, except to say that while I would not normally consider such an incident newsworthy. Rather, such inappropriate autographs are often sources of advice--Avoid the Clap, wrote one Jimmy Dugan, a truism and good advice, even to this day. However, the fact that it is a New York Yankee perpetrating this act makes it a worthy entry in the annals of "Stuff that proves the New York Yankees are a Giant Conglomeration of Shit."

Although, if the kid gets anything more than a free ticket to a Sox game, or perhaps a ball signed by everybody on the roster, I'll be forced to change my stance on the subject.

(Unless that anything more is the dissolution of the New York Yankees Franchise. Because that would be really cool.)