Thursday, September 27, 2007



Dear Jeebus,

You know, Jeebus?

When you get right down to it, the subtlety of that whole "alternating between which nostril is plugged up?" That's pretty fly. Funny, and astounding in its intricacy.

I'm rather annoyed by it, at this point, if you want to know the truth.

But you're the Almighty, and I'm the one with an alternately stuffy nose. I'm sure there's something about this whole mess that my human brain can't quite comprehend.

Thought I will say "Thank you" for presenting me with the half-full/half-empty metaphorical equivalent.

I can either half-breathe, or half-not-breathe. Am I an optimist, or a pessimist?

The philosophical ramifications are less-than-staggering.

One question: If I pull the sinuses out of my head, in a scene not unlike Arnold Scharzenegger pulling the probe out of his noggin in Total Recall, does it hurt my chances of getting into heaven?

Any more than any of the other crap I've done?

This week?

Just let me know.

Your Pal,

Abdullah the Butcher


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