Of Interdimensional Portals....

Of Interdimensional Portals....

I have a fair number of local readers, and this post might be of some interest to them.

Today, I learned something momentous.

I was buying a Coke Zero at the gas station, after buying a tank of gas. I went to the counter. There was a gentleman in front of me, who was engaged in vigorous conversation with the girl working the BP this morning.

Let me qualify that last statement by backing up a second. By vigorous conversation, I mean that he was gesticulating excitedly, but short of wildly. His voice was raised, enough that I glanced in the counter's direction as I walked into the store, to make sure nothing was too out of the ordinary, but not raised enough that I needed to break my stride in wandering toward the blessed elixir of life men call Coke Zero is stashed. The man was either excited about what he was talking about, or at having somebody to talk to, I decided, so there was no danger to me or my Coke Zero. And conversation might be an exaggeration, as the girl behind the counter seemed to be participating little, if at all.

Back on point, I get behind the gentleman as I go to pay for my drink.

And I hear him saying "It's down there just after the Valley Mart." (Valley Marts are our 7-11's or whathaveyouever for a chain of convenience stores...there are a couple corners in Athens where Valley Marts face each other, and as luck would have it, I was currently standing in the White Street Valley Mart having this conversation). The Valley Mart he refers to was a former Kelly Mart (how's that for local trivia), and is maybe midway between Athens and Englewood.

The lady behind the counter catches my eye, and waves me forward. The gentleman never pauses in his story. Her taking her attention away from him and giving it to me might as well have been a cool, summer breeze for all the effect it had on his telling his narrative. I hold up my Coke Zero for her to see. She tells me the cost, again not knocking the train of his tale off the tracks.

"Did you know about it?" he asks me, as I dig change out of my pants pocket.

"Know about about?" I think I said.

"There's an interdimensional portal down highway 39."

I was in the motion of handing the lady behind the counter three quarters, and all I could manage was "Really?" along with a polite smile. It's not often you run into a guy in a Dickies workshirt espousing the virtues of Interdimensional Portals. At least, not for me.

"Sure is." I wish I could find a way to describe the tone of voice, except that it was somewhere in the middle of mutual surprise at the existence of such a thing, and irritation at my ignorance at the fact. Maybe, in his mind, this was his key to the door of this lady's heart, and I was supposed to instinctively know to be his wing man in his love's endeavor.

It was a missed opportunity. In more ways than one. There wasn't any more to the talk. I took my change and left with my Coke Zero, leaving the talk of interdimensional portals to the folks at the BP station. Coke Zeros are important, but really, how often do you run into an interdimensional portal?

It occurred to me this afternoon that quite possibly, I've traveled through that portal many a time without thinking about it...sometimes, stepping into Englewood is like stepping 28 years into the past.

But there could be more to it. I'm not sure. Suppose I'll feel silly if it's true, and the Mobs under George Noory's command descend upon McMinn County. But then, there's not a lot of time I don't feel silly. It's why I drink.

So. It's apparently near the Valley Mart, if you're interested.