Re Run: The Possum

I wrote this four or five years ago. You know, back when I wrote for a blog. It came one late night, after driving home from work. I took my trash out tonight, and there was a possum near the trashbin, hightailing it toward the trees. Big Stupid Tommy is, as I'm sure you're all aware, Scourge to the Opossum.

Anyway, this is from four or five years back:

You know, in the dictionary, it's spelled opossum. Which is ridiculous. English being the evolving, ever-changing beast that it is, I say we all agree to make a conscious semantic leap forward, and just start spelling the North American marsupial "Possum," and be done with it.

I bring the possum up because I saw a live one on my drive home from work tonight.

It's kind of a rare thing for me.

See, I've seen plenty of possums in my time.

But most of them have been dead. Crushed to death on a road, somewhere.

Is possum Latin for roadkill?

Tonight, I saw a live one.

On the road, actually. In the other lane.

We locked eyes as I passed. I think in passing him by, I saw in that possum's eyes that I may have denied him his destiny.

Maybe possums live in a strange warrior-type society, where the only way to possum heaven is under the tires of a passing automobiles. A possum who dies of old age is not a true possum. He will spend his eternity at the gates of Possum Valhalla, never to sup at the Warrior's table.

Maybe. I don't know. There just hasn't been enough scientific study into the religious implications and belief structures of possum society.

If I had to think about it, and even if I didn't have to think about it, I'd say that I've seen just a handful of live possums in my life. Maybe a dozen, give or take. They're nocturnal. I'm basically a day person. They're woodsy. I like the woods, but mostly I sleep indoors. And really, possums and I just don't run in the same social circles.

Conversely, I've seen several dead possums. In fact, I would think the ratio would run somewhere close to 8 to 1. Maybe even 10 to one. It seems excessive, but I think the math would bear me out.

Just thinking out loud.

A couple of questions that I ask myself, here at 1:30 in the morning.

1.) Is it possible that there are possums, alive, that I am not seeing? I'm thinking this is probably the case.
2.) If there are live possums that I am not seeing, I wonder how many of them there are.
3.) And as a followup to that, those possums that I cannot see, why are they hiding from sight? Are they planning something? Should I be doing anything to protect myself from a possible possum plundering?

Ah well. I don't have any real way to tie up this bit of nonsense, so I think I'll close by saying I think "Possum Valhalla" would be an awesome name for a band, or perhaps a bar.