Tuesday, June 01, 2010

Ranking Memorial Day

In which I rank the events of my Memorial Day.

5. Waking up to find ants in my kitchen. I've had a minor pest situation, lately. I had a mouse, which I've caught, and the other traps have caught no more mice. So, it was a Lone Ranger, or the other mice are from the Kwai Chang Caine school of mousery. Now that I think I have the mouse problem licked, I wake up to find a million trillion ants. The pests are frustrating because I keep so little food at the house, lately. I'm never home. Still, last night I made the mistake of leaving what little food I have out open on the counter. Word to the wise: Ants LOVE Honey Nut Cheerios.

4. I had no caffeine. I've been cutting my caffeine intake lately. For a couple of weeks. I'll still have a coke or two every now and then, especially if I start with a caffeine headache. A word of caution: mentioning that I'm cutting caffeine while recently saying that I drank a million billion Diet Dr. Peppers while waiting for my sister to have her baby apparently has opened me to certain scrutiny. I'll clarify by saying for my part, I've been cutting coffees, teas and energy drinks out of my intake, and sodas too, but I'll drink a soda to cut any caffeine headaches that pop up.

Why cut? Trouble sleeping, of late. I don't think all the caffeine is the reason, but at the same time, I don't think it hurts to knock consumption down. There was no headache today, though a friend and I went to see Robin Hood this afternoon, and in one particularly slow point, I found myself nodding....

3. My brother-in-law got the new nickname Poop Shoes Slatton. There was an incident involving their dog and his shoes. You do that math. I just like the assonance of Poop Shoes, to be honest.

2. I pulled a dead bat from the grill of my truck. Last night, driving home from work, I caught something out of the corner of my eye for a split second. It fluttered. That's all my mind really registered. It fluttered. And it was gone. My brain said bird, first, and then piece of paper. I didn't think anything more of it, until I saw a neighbor dog particularly interested in the grill of my truck. Figuring a tomcat had peed there, or something, I told him to skedaddle, and then noticed what looked like a dead leaf sticking out from beneath the grill and the bumper. Looking closer, I realized what had fluttered in front of my truck. I'd hit a bat, and the tiny thing was wedged (dead, most likely on impact) between my grill and bumper. Using a plastic bag, I pulled the critter out. Not much bigger than the mouse I'd caught a few days before.

Snap2Twitter - Holy Shit. I have a Bat dead in the grill of my truck.

I gave him a burial in the big green box.

1.) I got to hold my nephew for the first time. My sister and brother-in-law had a baby last Tuesday. I'd just gotten to their house tonight. Neat. Powerful. I wish I had better words. April and Jeff have done good....