I got a Dancing Homer Simpsons doll for Christmas. It's Homer standing on a base. There's a motion sensor, and when you walk by, Homer says something delightful, or he sings and dances along to "Boogie Fever" or "Rapper's Delight." It's really a wonderful toy.

One of the cats was, at first, mesmerized by its gyrations. Then, frightened out of its mind.

And I press the issue. With the rubber band shooting pistol that my sister got me for Christmas.

Big Stupid Tommy. Bane to cats.

Not cats. One particular cat. He's my archenemy.

Merry Christmas.