Books

Just thinking about it, and here now, is my list of the top 10 most important books in my life:

10. The Wizard of Oz, by L. Frank Baum.

I can still remember getting through the first ten pages of the book when I was in the first grade, and saying to myself: This is already 10 times better than the movie.

One day, I'll go back and read the rest of the pages.

9. Striptease, by Carl Hiaasen

I've never actually read the book, but I have watched the movie version (starring Demi Moore, Burt Reynolds, and in an attempt to get my hit count up, Pandora Peaks) on TBS something like 23 times. It's funny. (No it's not).

(Actually, I have read the book, and it's better than the movie....though it's not as good as "Lucky You," or "Stormy Weather").

8. The Far Side Week Planner (any year)

Functional, and Funny. My favorite Far Side cartoon involves the giant eyeball in the car's rearview mirror, with the line: Objects in Mirror May Be Closer than they Appear

7. Futurama

This is not a book so much as a television show. But by Gorsh it's funny!

6. You're Missing a Great Game Here by Whitey Herzog

Whitey Herzog is one of my favorite baseball names, because it's so old school. I don't know that we'll get another player, coach or umpire named "Whitey." And the great old European surnames, like Herzog, aren't as prevalent. We've got Pierzynski, sure, and Mienkievicz....but I won't let those two names that pop immediately to mind derail my argument.

5. Don't Bend Over in the Garden Granny, Them Taters Got Eyes, by Lewis Grizzard

Honestly, if you haven't read anything by the late Mr. Grizzard, who was a humor columnist based out of Atlanta, go to a book store, and find one of his books on a remainder table....there are usually 17 of them, and you can buy them like 3 for a dollar.

Don't Bend Over Granny is his book about "sex," and what it was like growing up when he did, and learning about sex.

It's shaped my worldview mightily.

4. The 2004 World Almanac, with personal "weird" annotations

Of course, my annotations are done with a Sharpie marker, and I've used it to mark out any passage I deem objectionable. I counted, and there are approximately 20 words in my almanac that are still visible.

3. The Phone Book

Reading it is only slightly more maddening than reading Henry James.

2. The First Garfield Treasury by Jim Davis

Contains all of the feisty felines first Sunday strips. Hilarious! Nermal is my favorite.

1. The back of the cereal box (Any Cereal)

Mmmm. Cereal.