Shoulder

Shoulder

Slept on my shoulder last night.  My right shoulder.  Which, coincidentally, appears to be the wrong one.  Things that were difficult so far this morning.

• Turning off the alarm clock.  Turning off the alarm, incidentally, is when I figured out that my shoulder was hurting.  My mind says "I don't want to be awake now" to "Criminy! My shoulder hurts!  Why is Cousin Larry tormenting me?"
• Adjusting the shower head.  And while I don't mind the shower spraying directly into my belly button, I didn't figure it was the very best way to get clean.  My shoulder hurt a little less, at this point.
• Putting a t-shirt on.  I went from relishing the warm, cottony feeling of a nice clean t-shirt, I winced a little, but I was able (Praise Balki!) to fight on.
• Getting the box of Cheerios off the top shelf of the cabinet.  Honestly!!!!  Who puts cereal on the top shelf?!!?!?  We got a hurt man here!  I posted a memo that from now on, all cereals will be placed on the bottom shelf of the cabinet, and arranged on said shelf according to height, and then color, should two boxes be the same height, and in this case, the order of the colors will be determined by a coin flip, with the coin landing on a head meaning cereal boxes will be arranged along the ROY G BIV standard, and tails meaning they will be arranged (from left to right) along the lines of prettiest to ugliest.
• Petting the dog.  The dog wanted my Cheerios.  I shouldn't have petted.  But I did.  Telling her as I did so "There ain't no way I'm giving you my Cheerios!"
• And my shoulder hurt a little while NBC's Tim Russert hyp-mo-tized me with his cold, reptilian eyes.  He said "A lot of people still don't know who John Kerry is." but in my mind, I heard his true intention "Stop praying to Perfect Strangers characters and send your tribute to me!!!!"
• Addressing the envelope to send tribute to Tim Russert
• Laughing when the lady on the TV said "Bangkok."
• Bullet points.  Gotta love them

You all go out there and have yerselves a helluva Thursday.