Your Directive, for Today

Your Directive, for Today

I know a lot of you read this at work. This will work best for you. The rest of you, reading at home, save it up, and use it when you go to your work, but with one added item.

Do nothing, today. Absolutely nothing. If you're reading blogs at work, you're already a good way there. You can read blogs. And sports sites. And porn. But beyond looking at crap on the internet, do nothing.

Make a show of it. If somebody asks what you're doing, announce, loudly: "I ain't doing shit!"

If your boss should come by, and tells you to get to work, explain as you would to a retarded child "Working's for suckers."

And then do something dismissive, and turn your back.

If they make a point of being trouble, punch them in the back of the head. And tell them "Big Stupid Tommy said you deserved that!" And then start pinwheeling on the floor Curly Howard style.

Now, for those of you who are reading at home, and will be going to work at some point in the future, I suggest you get really, really drunk before going in. That, or carry a bottle in with you, and proceed to start your own drinking game with the blog world...just hit random links, and any time you run across a blog which refers to a member of the political party opposite that of the blog writer in anything less than a completely respectful tone, take a shot. You'll be drunk before first break. Then start in with step one, as listed above.

Because, if you think about it, work really is for suckers.