Friday, July 29, 2005

3 Questions: Grotesqueticle

3 Questions: Grotesqueticle

Perhaps my favorite commentor name asks:

1. Is Pope Ratzenberger the reincarnation of the Buddha?

I dunno. I tend to think the reincarnation of Buddha would be a little more easy going and place a little less emphasis on dogmatic elements. This Pope looks like the guy who's got the biggest hardon for rules you've ever seen. This is the kid who would raise his hand in class to nark somebody else out for doing something bad, even if it meant the whole class would end up suffering.

But my perceptions of the Buddha are clouded by all the television I watch, so maybe Buddha's a tattle tale, too.

2. If so, what would his wrasslin' name be, and would he be a good guy or a villian? (I am leaning towards "Il papa della morte" and villian).

See, I still can't get past the similarities of his name and the guy who played Cliff Claven on Cheers. I figure that if this pope were to enter the squared circle, he'd have to go with "the Mailman."

And he brings deliverance to you.

I think he'd start as a good guy, but his whole personality trait of needing to enforce rules takes him out of the public favor. He's not a rulebreaker, necessarily, but he's got a real anti-public sentiment streak in him.

3. Will you ever come clean, and admit that the Stegosaurus was a middling dinosaur, at best?

Dude, how do you deal with the burns on your lips after you've smoked that crack?

Stegosaurus is a bad ass. Period. I don't need to go on, but I will.

How many other dinosaurs:

Speak Portuguese?
Are Spies?
Starred in their own sitcom in the 60's with Mary Tyler Moore?
Ran for President?
Can use a katana?

Little known fact? Stegosaur is the only true dinosaur. And he lived in the Garden of Eden with Adam, Eve and Keith Richards. All the other dinosaurs are figments of Satan's mechinations. The fossilized bones? He placed their bones there to confuse us, and lead away from the Word. But Stegosaurus? Real, dude. And they all live in Valhalla now.


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