The Pairings are Up

The Pairings are Up

It's been a while, but finally the responsibility has fallen back into my hands.
Remember, it's a round of 16, and it's single elimination:

1. The story of your brother-in-law getting kicked in the nuts by a horse
16. A Famous Fictional Character (Harry Potter) getting syphilis

8. A dog ripping the stuffing from a teddy bear
9. The town of Titty, Texas

4. Joe "Tournament" Thomas
13. A Monkey Fucking a Football

5. Bacon, Egg and Cheese McGriddles
12. I don't think a line drive to the head could hurt Matt Clement

3. Scarlett Johansen. I mean, Damn!
14. I can't read, and have been writing this blog phonetically

6. America's Screwed Up Version of Morality
11. Bret "the Hitman" Hart

7. Getting Mauled to Death by a Bear
10. Getting Mauled to Death by Strippers

2. Arsenic and Old Lace (not the play or the movie)
15. A Ballerina so fat she has to wear a "threethree.

The proceedings will begin at 6:15 AM, sharp, the morning of August 2. There will be a parade of flags (underwear does not count as a flag), a buffet consisting of donuts and fried eggs.

The games will be played in the last movement of Beethoven's Third Symphony.

A few ground rules:

This time around, we must ask that all betting be concluded before entering the state of Utah. There was some Mormon unpleasantness that finished with your humble moderator somehow having to be married to several women. So. Bet Before Utah. It's on the T-Shirt.

Remember, it's all for fun, but if you have to kill the guy, it's your job to get rid of the body.

Flashing is mandatory.

Judges:

We have secured a wonderful triumvirate of judges this year. His Holiness, Pope Benedict XVI has agreed to preside over the meetings, along with the esteemed Dalai Lama, and the Last Son of Krypton himself, Superman.

Remember, two of the three judges can be bribed, but we never are sure which two.