Friday Hurricane Thoughts

Friday Hurricane Thoughts

I started this post at 8:26 AM on 8/26. Nothing more to it, and it has very little to do with the rest of this post. I just like little numbering coincidences like that.

I didn't realize just how little attention I'd been paying to the news. I woke this morning to find out that there's a hurricane in Florida. I know I've been out of it, but man! You'd think I'd have caught something having to do with it, on the radio or the interweb.

I feel somehow deprived of seeing Jim Cantore's machismo in action.

It's just one of those little things I've learned from the teevee. If you see Jim Cantore heading for your town, you need to get out of Dodge, captain. I'm not entirely convinced he isn't somehow conjuring hurricanes, using some form of shaman's magic. Perhaps out of anger over his baldness.

And let me just say that Katrina is a fine, fine name.

But I'd much rather have see "Khan" rolling across Florida. I mean, The Weather Channel could have used all that great footage of William Shatner from Star Trek II. How cool would the hurricane coverage be if the commercial bumpers were this....

Other great K names for a hurricane:

King Kong
Killer
Kowalski
Kronus
Klingon Battlecruiser

I think all of those would be suitable names for hurricanes, if only for their value to instill fear. I mean, this storm was a category 1 storm, right? I'd say Floridians have probably been desensitized, especially after the last couple of years. So, a category 1 storm with a little sweet girly name like "Katrina" isn't likely to inspire the fear necessary to get people to run for the hills.

Me? I know if I hear that Hurricane Kowalski is heading for my town, I'm going to run. But then, I live 400 miles inland, so if a hurricane's gonna hit me, it's a heckuva storm.

Other less-fear inspiring names:

Kay
Kitten
Kevin

Here's a K name that I'm not sure is scary or not: Kris Kringle. I mean, Santa scares some people. But is he going to scare enough people into leaving? Or is that going to warp too many kids, if category 5 storm Kris Kringle destroys a major metropolitan area like Miami or New Orleans?

Anyway, it doesn't seem like there's a huge amount of damage, which is good for the people of Florida. Looks like some flooding, and some minor wind damage.

But you just know that there's some guy in charge of marketing at the Weather Channel who's been destroying his office since yesterday since this storm didn't strengthen to a category 2 or 3 storm. You know the Weather Channel's ratings have to skyrocket whenever a storm like this wanders by.

Hell, it's the only time I watch the Weather Channel.

I make light. I know the storms are dangerous. But I would prefer a hurricane to some of the weather we get here. I mean, all we get is tornadoes, and you don't get Jim Cantore running to your town to stand in a tornado's path. I think Cantore would if he could, but there's just no way of predicting a tornado a couple of days in advance. Hurricanes, you can watch as they form off the coast of Africa, sometimes. So you've got days and days to prepare for hurricanes, even if you aren't sure which way the bugger's going to turn.

Tornadoes just pop out of the sky on the heels of a thunderstorm. We had a golden retriever named Molly who witnessed a tornado going across the ridge next to ours in 1993. For the rest of her life, she was absolutely terrified by thunderstorms. She was scared shitless. Literally. If she heard a sudden clap of thunder, she would crap wherever she was, and hightail it for cover.

Where was Jim Cantore then? Why couldn't he have saved my dog from such embarrassing and humorous defecations? Why, Jim? Why?

I'm just going to link to that Khan thing once more, because I have no way out of this post, and because it amuses me so much.

Ya'll have a good one.