Tuesday, September 13, 2005



Ya gotta want it. That's all I can say.

Well, that, and Soccer Players are just about the stupidest people on the planet. I mean, honestly, who wants to run up and down a field for an hour and a friggin' half to end a ballgame in a tie?!?!?

But that's not why I'm here tonight.

I'm here to link to the story from Fark, where a soccer player named Chavdar Yankow had a pretty rough day at the ballpark. I'll just quote the whole shebang:

A footballer had to have six stitches in his penis after it was ripped open in a tackle.

Chavdar Yankow, 21, sustained a three-inch gash playing for Hamburg 96 in Germany.

His shorts were "soaked with blood" but team doctors managed to patch Yankow up.

Amazingly, after the painful incident Yankow returned to the pitch and played on.

And the German went on to score in his side's 2-0 win over Frankfurt.
You know, I've never been an athlete outside of your beer softball league, so I'm not the best person to ask about the psyche of the athlete.

But I will say this: Outside of me stitching it up to pitch in the seventh game of the World Series for the Chicago Cubs, if I've taken an injury serious enough to need stitches in the manhood, you can probably count me out.

You'll see this line in the preview:

Tommy...Doubtful (Privates)

Still, Chavdar's made himself a helluva reputation, now. If you can take a slash to the junk and get back up and play, more power to you. I'm staying out of his way. Chavdar certainly can't take anything I'm going to dish out, and I'm not slashing privates.

Let me also say this: I don't know much about soccer. Like I said, to me, it's either a bunch of suburban kids running off a sugar buzz, or it's crazy Europeans who were too drunk to learn to swing a cricket bat, running around for an hour and a half, under the pretense of kicking a ball in one direction or the other, and then going home, drinking and (I would assume) collapsing. But I do know that nearly cutting a guy's pecker off is not how you play the game.

I hope the guy who tackled him got some kind of foul. He deserves a punch in the face, at the very least.

As if the running weren't enough to keep me away from the game....


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