The Sunday Sixteen

The Sunday Sixteen

I'm wearing the sweatband that came free with my copy of the movie Dodgeball, which I got for Christmas last year. It is obviously made for heads much smaller than my size 8 melon. It is very tight, and it's starting to give me a headache. I'm getting a little light headed.

It ain't that time.

But I'm going to do it anyway.

The pairings are up:

1. Maria Sharapova
16. All the Octobers of Your Entire Life

8. Gary Busey, punching at the air
9. Two Bottles of Bourbon. For a Dollar.

4. A Ghost Shit so Spooky you'll Die of Fright!!!!
13. Getting A Paper Cut between your index and bird fingers.

5. Scooter by Mick Foley
12. The seventh game of the 1991 Twins/Braves World Series

3. The year 1933
14. A magical time, when nipples grew on trees.

6. If the Cookie Monster Were Your Best Friend
11. Indian Food (American, or Asian)

7. Gaining Third Place in your Fantasy Baseball League
10. Knowing that this is as well as you'll do in the league.

2. Slapping the Taste out of Jesse Jackson's Mouth
15. A dog that can deliver beer and predict the outcome of football games

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Ground Rules:

The contest will begin yesterday, just after realized just how hung over you were. Tequila is a bastard's drink. We will play the game in the brass spittoon Marty McFly throws on Buford Tannen in Back to the Future III, asshole.

Due to the unpleasantness of the last two (2) contests, when you lose, you make like horseshit and hit the trail. We won't be having any D-Generation X style run-ins this time, Estelle Getty.

Judges for the contests: Joel and Ethan Coen, Thomas Pynchon, Cyndi Lauper, Mr. Peanut and the cast of the movie "Monster Squad."