Tuesday, November 29, 2005

The Nature Boy and Road Rage

The Nature Boy and Road Rage

Seems the day before Thanksgiving, the Nature Boy his own self, Ric Flair, is alleged to have assaulted another driver in an incident of road rage.

From the article:

Pro wrestler Ric Flair faces assault charges after a road rage incident on Interstate 485 in Charlotte. Another driver said Flair attacked him and his car.

The driver said he was on I-485 on Wednesday,trying to get out of town for the Thanksgiving holiday and traffic was slow.

The driver said he noticed someone behind him flashing their headlights, so he hit his brakes.

I wanna stop here. Is anybody else like me here, and thinking that yeah, the Nature Boy was perhaps a little out of line....but to me, the guy who hit his breaks like that is just as big an asshole.

Hear me out.

You read the whole text of the article, but at no point is there any mention of Flair's side of the story. How long was he riding behind the slower driver? Which lane were they in. Was it a passing lane?

See, I've got a handful of personal psychoses, and one of them is these rat-bastards who drive slowly in the left hand lanes. Listen, if you wanna drive 32 on the interstate, then that's your freedom, just so long as you do it in the right hand lane.

The left lane is for faster traffic. And I'm thinking that if the Nature Boy is having to ride up on somebody's ass, then he's probably faster.

One more note. I don't like somebody running up my tailpipe on the interstate any more than the next guy, but I've heard from a couple of people who've had similar problems, and here's why I go ahead and get over, if I can, and don't press the issue too much:

You know, if you're the driver going slower, and somebody's riding your ass and flashing their lights, there's every chance in the world the driver behind you actually does have something very, very pressing that they have to get to. Medical emergency, is the first thing that comes to mind, if they're out on the interstate.

Along those same lines, here in my neck of the woods, you're just as liable to get run up on by somebody who's part of a volunteer fire department, or rescue squad, and is rushing to get to where they have to be because of an emergency.

That said, I'm on Ric's side, here, either. Sounds like he didn't have any kind of emergency...if he did, he wouldn't have time to get out and confront the other driver. So he's clearly in the wrong, too.

I don't know everything that's happened. It sounds like holiday traffic and a couple of people getting hot under the collar. The news story doesn't help. My point is that I think both people were in the wrong here, and it's being made to look like Ric's the bigger prick, in part because he's got a name people recognize.

I don't have much else to say, except that I'm sure it was intimidating to have Ric Flair jump out of that car, there are others who work in the squared circle I'd rather not have coming out of a car behind me, pissed off at my lack of driving prowess....

The top 5:

1. The Big Show. Dude, he's 7 feet and 500 pounds of road raging madness. I mean, for one thing, he's gotta drive a bus or perhaps a transfer truck because he can't fit behind the wheel of a real car.

2. Mick Foley. He's let himself get thrown off 25 foot high steel cages. You think he's scared of your cracker ass? Luckily, I think Mick's probably a little more mellow than most wrestlers.

3. Tazz. The human suplex machine already has a little man complex and a bad attitude. You wanna piss him off by not signalling a turn?

4. Chyna. She's 6'3" and stronger than you. She will crush you.

5. Jimmy Snuka. I don't think he comprehends stuff on a normal human level. Which is not to say he's more or less than human. He just works on a different plane, and I don't know that human life would mean that much to him.

Honorable mention:

Kane, Zeus (actor Tiny Lister), Ken Shamrock, Brock Lesnar, the Undertaker, Damien Demento, or Wesley Snipes, who is not a wrestler, but seems to believe the shit he does in movies.


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