The Festivus Grievances
The Festivus Grievances
A few things that have been bugging me....
Those people at Yahoo. Still can't get into my old e-mail account to get my address book out. I'm on e-mail, and that's the important thing. I've managed to get back all but a handful of e-mail addresses. But it's annoying, nonetheless.
I also lost out on my pick'em NFL league. I was running strong these last few weeks. And then I'm blown out of the water because I can't access my pick set. My Dad's in the league. He's been leading for weeks. He lets me know how he's doing every day. Whenever he gets a chance. I am pissed at Yahoo for subjecting me to this torture, and I am pissed at Dad. He is a bad winner.
Cell phones bug me. But as cell phone person going on a year, now, I've had to amend this to people who use them while driving, and in doing so, lose about 1/3 of their speed. A conversation starts, and suddenly you're going 20 miles an hour slower.
Also, you assholes who have your phone on speaker phone in public. It's bad enough to have to hear your end of the conversation. Making us subject to the other end of the conversation does not move your conversation from the rude column to the polite column.
And...turn the sunsabitches off in the movie theater. Honestly. We've been doing this for a decade now. Stop being that asshole.
(As I wrote this, Chattanooga news channel 12's resident crank Luther Massingale apparently forgot to turn his cell phone off before going on air....that was hilarious....)
Folks, the left lane is for passing or for turning. It's for the faster traffic. If you're in the left lane, and that car behind you is riding on your bumper, then chances are, he's wanting to go faster than you. This is not your venue to enforce what you percieve the maximum speed to be. Get into the right lane. In 2006, those drivers who do not get over in a timely fashion will be destroyed with my own bazooka.
Fox TV, and the American Viewing Public. For this whole Arrested Development nonsense. You've got one of the most critically acclaimed TV shows to come along on network TV in some time, and you can't figure out how to market it. It's like they think the only people watching TV are Jeff Foxworthy clones and little old ladies. And Damn the American viewing public, for sitting down and watching overblown Karaoke contests like American Idol four nights a week.
Bud Selig. For being a spineless twerp. For treating us all like the aforementioned Jeff Foxworthy redneck nation, thinking all we want to see is thedong home run, and not addressing the steroid problem in a serious fashion until Congress decided to get involved.
The Dusty Baker and Jim Hendry show is fast becoming one of my least favorite shows in town. I can't recall being this indifferent to what my Cubbies are doing in an offseason. Everything I hear, I am at most ambivalent, when I'm not outright disagreeing with what happens.
Johnny Damon. I'm not a Sox fan, per se. But somehow, going to the Yankees? That hurt my feelings. Don't know why. Just call it my luddite attitude of wanting some things in this world to not be for sale to the highest bidder.
ESPN. Constant gripe. Guys, I want to watch the sports. Not the people reporting on it. You aren't working with Lebron James. You're reporting on Lebron James. There's a difference.
You people and your War on Christmas nonsense. Honestly. I could give a shit. Your "wid us or agin us" attitude has gone a ways toward ruining this holiday season. You tell me to say "Merry Christmas," and I won't. Because I know it pisses you off.
Bret Hart. Dude, you're my favorite wrestler. But you've been believing your own press for years too long. Let somebody else pick the best matches of your career on another DVD collection...I know you and Shawn Michaels had issues, but your matches with him defined your career, in both the best and worst possible ways....leaving them out of a retrospective is like making a hamburger without hamburger meat.
When my dog farts, it smells like a tire fire. I tell him this, but he seems proud of the fact. And his flatulence entertains him, so who am I to take that away from him?
This is almost 2006, right? Where are my flying cars? But you know what? I don't even want flying cars, necessarily. Now, an SUV that has a gun turret popping out of the back, kind of like the M.A.S.K. villain? That would be pretty boss. I think something like that would go a long way toward alleviating my aforementioned problems with the other drivers. Why hasn't one of the car companies been working on this?
Checkbooks. If you want to pay your bills that way, fine. Move into the 1990's and get a debit card, please. I'm a little tired of standing behind you people while you pay for a bag of Doritos and Downy Dryer Sheets with a personal check in the amount of $3.83.
Folks, please learn to use the self-check lanes at a store. It's not hard.
Retailers, please make sure your self-check lanes work.
Haven't we had enough of this bullcrap with the banging sound systems in cars? Honestly. I really figured we'd have been through with this by now. I think it's a sign that we've got our priorities way out of whack, to see that there are this many people driving around with $5,000 sound systems in a car otherwise worth about $1300.
Please stop trying to pluralize words by putting "'s" at the end. It's not "2 Cheeseburger's." Just Cheeseburgers. That homemade bazooka's going to come in handy.
There. There are more. I'm sure. I'm tired, and gotta take a whiz.
Say Uncle and Chris at A Large Regular have their lists up, too....
A few things that have been bugging me....
Those people at Yahoo. Still can't get into my old e-mail account to get my address book out. I'm on e-mail, and that's the important thing. I've managed to get back all but a handful of e-mail addresses. But it's annoying, nonetheless.
I also lost out on my pick'em NFL league. I was running strong these last few weeks. And then I'm blown out of the water because I can't access my pick set. My Dad's in the league. He's been leading for weeks. He lets me know how he's doing every day. Whenever he gets a chance. I am pissed at Yahoo for subjecting me to this torture, and I am pissed at Dad. He is a bad winner.
Cell phones bug me. But as cell phone person going on a year, now, I've had to amend this to people who use them while driving, and in doing so, lose about 1/3 of their speed. A conversation starts, and suddenly you're going 20 miles an hour slower.
Also, you assholes who have your phone on speaker phone in public. It's bad enough to have to hear your end of the conversation. Making us subject to the other end of the conversation does not move your conversation from the rude column to the polite column.
And...turn the sunsabitches off in the movie theater. Honestly. We've been doing this for a decade now. Stop being that asshole.
(As I wrote this, Chattanooga news channel 12's resident crank Luther Massingale apparently forgot to turn his cell phone off before going on air....that was hilarious....)
Folks, the left lane is for passing or for turning. It's for the faster traffic. If you're in the left lane, and that car behind you is riding on your bumper, then chances are, he's wanting to go faster than you. This is not your venue to enforce what you percieve the maximum speed to be. Get into the right lane. In 2006, those drivers who do not get over in a timely fashion will be destroyed with my own bazooka.
Fox TV, and the American Viewing Public. For this whole Arrested Development nonsense. You've got one of the most critically acclaimed TV shows to come along on network TV in some time, and you can't figure out how to market it. It's like they think the only people watching TV are Jeff Foxworthy clones and little old ladies. And Damn the American viewing public, for sitting down and watching overblown Karaoke contests like American Idol four nights a week.
Bud Selig. For being a spineless twerp. For treating us all like the aforementioned Jeff Foxworthy redneck nation, thinking all we want to see is the
The Dusty Baker and Jim Hendry show is fast becoming one of my least favorite shows in town. I can't recall being this indifferent to what my Cubbies are doing in an offseason. Everything I hear, I am at most ambivalent, when I'm not outright disagreeing with what happens.
Johnny Damon. I'm not a Sox fan, per se. But somehow, going to the Yankees? That hurt my feelings. Don't know why. Just call it my luddite attitude of wanting some things in this world to not be for sale to the highest bidder.
ESPN. Constant gripe. Guys, I want to watch the sports. Not the people reporting on it. You aren't working with Lebron James. You're reporting on Lebron James. There's a difference.
You people and your War on Christmas nonsense. Honestly. I could give a shit. Your "wid us or agin us" attitude has gone a ways toward ruining this holiday season. You tell me to say "Merry Christmas," and I won't. Because I know it pisses you off.
Bret Hart. Dude, you're my favorite wrestler. But you've been believing your own press for years too long. Let somebody else pick the best matches of your career on another DVD collection...I know you and Shawn Michaels had issues, but your matches with him defined your career, in both the best and worst possible ways....leaving them out of a retrospective is like making a hamburger without hamburger meat.
When my dog farts, it smells like a tire fire. I tell him this, but he seems proud of the fact. And his flatulence entertains him, so who am I to take that away from him?
This is almost 2006, right? Where are my flying cars? But you know what? I don't even want flying cars, necessarily. Now, an SUV that has a gun turret popping out of the back, kind of like the M.A.S.K. villain? That would be pretty boss. I think something like that would go a long way toward alleviating my aforementioned problems with the other drivers. Why hasn't one of the car companies been working on this?
Checkbooks. If you want to pay your bills that way, fine. Move into the 1990's and get a debit card, please. I'm a little tired of standing behind you people while you pay for a bag of Doritos and Downy Dryer Sheets with a personal check in the amount of $3.83.
Folks, please learn to use the self-check lanes at a store. It's not hard.
Retailers, please make sure your self-check lanes work.
Haven't we had enough of this bullcrap with the banging sound systems in cars? Honestly. I really figured we'd have been through with this by now. I think it's a sign that we've got our priorities way out of whack, to see that there are this many people driving around with $5,000 sound systems in a car otherwise worth about $1300.
Please stop trying to pluralize words by putting "'s" at the end. It's not "2 Cheeseburger's." Just Cheeseburgers. That homemade bazooka's going to come in handy.
There. There are more. I'm sure. I'm tired, and gotta take a whiz.
Say Uncle and Chris at A Large Regular have their lists up, too....
posted by Tommy at
11:39
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