Friday, May 05, 2006

A Post from 1:09 in the morning

A Post from 1:09 in the morning

So, I close the store tonight, and I'm thinking to myself "Oh Boy! The Cubs are playing the Diamondbacks in Phoenix...I'll probably get to listen to the last inning or two on XM when I finish work...."

I thought that. Just like that. I said "Oh Boy" in my interior monologue, and I thought with the periods of ellipsis and everything. Because I'm all literary, and shit.

So, I get out in the eighth, and the Cubs are down by five, with the D-Backs about to score a sixth run. I turned the station before it could happen, in the hopes that it was all a figment of my imagination.

This is neither here nor there, but I really dig X-Country, channel 12 on the XM dial. Lots of Delbert McClinton, lots of Robert Earl Keen.....

Well, while I was listening to X-Country, the dumb bastards lost again tonight. 6-0.

Now, I'm no whiz kid. I don't know all 24 letters of the alphabet, and I definitely couldn't get them in order...but by my math, that puts the Cubs outscored over their last 6 games by a sum of 45-5.

Now, to my mind, that's a football score. Not of a great game...something like what you'd see next fall during the the University of Alabama vs. the Northwest Dalton, Georgia, College for Grade School Teachers and Hairdressers game.

My point is, that's definitely not what you want to see for your baseball team.

(You'll excuse me for a minute, whilst I eat grapes....I just remembered that I bought grapes, and had the "Holy Shit! I have grapes!" moment. You've all been there. Bear with me....)

I'm not going to get off on a rant here. It's too late, and I've got a couple New Knoxville I.P.A.'s in me, and as you can see, my attention's wandering like a toddler with ADD and Restless Leg Syndrome...

I'll just say that it's six bad games, and that every team has six bad games. The trick is to not let it turn into a streak where you lose the month of May by a combined score of 345-17.

I don't know what the switch is. Or even if there is one. But the Cubs seem to throw it every year, at some point. Everybody goes into a slump. And it can't coincide with Derrek Lee being out, because they played well enough for a while without him. But at some point (and to me, that 16-2 drubbing Saturday's got something to do with it), the switch got flipped, and somehow the lineup fell apart.

Stupid Cubs.

I ain't got answers.

Hell, at this time of the night, I'm not willing to bet if there's a question.

I just know that there are too many good teams in the N.L. Central to slump like this for long. Too many teams to try to catch. I mean, it's not just houston and St. Looey. Cincinnati's playing lights out, and Milwaukee will play with anybody.

Boy, it's times like this that I miss the Sloth.


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