In Which Tommy Says How the Movie Jurassic Park Should Go

In Which Tommy Says How the Movie Jurassic Park Should Go

You know that part of Jurassic Park, where Dr. Grant is up in the tree with the kids, and the big apatosaurus comes up eating the plants, and Dr. Grant pulls a branch down to feed the giant dinosaur?

Shouldn't he have been pulled from his perch the minute the dinosaur felt the first bit of resistance, and re-doubled its effort to pull that particular yummy branch down?

Most likely, he'd have fallen to horrible injury. And rightfully so. What better way to teach those to heathen kids the treacheries of irony in this world? To have Dr. Grant die at the hands of the very "Veggiesaurus" that Tim had just sold to Alex as safer than the meat-eaters.

And he, and the two kids would have died out there in the jungles of Jurassic Park. If not eaten to death by velociprators, then crushed by the Veggiesaurus.

Or, if you wanted to maintain the ironic theme, why not have them die by means of Tetanus, or some violent upper-respiratory infection brought on by the damp jungle air? To be afraid of all these giant-ass dinosaurs, only to be brought down by some of the smallest beings of them all here on Earth, Smurfs Bacteria.