The Quotable BSTommy

The Quotable BSTommy

I was daydreaming at work today. Don't know what about. Revenge is a good bet, but I couldn't tell you for sure. It could well have been about daisies, for all I know. In the midst of my daydream, one of the vendors hollered at me, startling me back to the real world, and scaring the befuckinjeezus out of me in the process.

As my mind wandered back toward normality, I had to admit to myself that it had been a while since I've been gotten that good. A couple of years, I'd say.

"Tommy, did I scare ya?" I was asked, as the offending party grinned, gleeful and malicious.

My machismo (or lack thereof) was suddenly on display for all to see. I responded:

"Yeah, you got me Tony. But not so much that I have to throw away any clothing."

Karma's response, of course, was to send me a particular round of flatulence later in the day that made me stop what I was doing and make a beeline for the head, lest I be forced to have to throw a pair of underpants in the garbage.

I'll wrap up this post with a quote from my father, who told me when I was six or seven, as he gestured to me matter-of-factly with the bottle of Spray n' Wash he was using, "You need to wipe better. Underwear and Spray n' Wash are expensive."

That's in the top seven or eight things my father has ever told me in my life.