Thoughts on a Saturday

Thoughts on a Saturday

• Been fighting some kind of galloping crud that's been going around. My lungs don't hurt this morning like they did Wednesday or Thursday, and I'm not coughing up pieces of phlegm the same consistency of a guitar pick. You might call that an improvement, but any time that latter event transpired, I felt like I'd created something. I feel like it's the closest I'll ever get, as a man, to giving birth.
• I'd never have thought so, but I'm so ready to move past this whole death of Anna Nicole Smith media blitz that I'd be willing to have a week's worth of coverage of Britney Spears shaving her head.
• Dammit! I just thought about the fact that I'm in desperate need of a haircut, and I was going to just get my head buzzed. Don't know that I'll go with a buzzcut this time, now. Not only do I feel like I may need a change in hairstyle, I'd prefer not to have to answer those difficult questions about whether I'm copying Britney Spears.
• Or is Britney copying me? We'll put that one into the Cesspool of Consideration.
• I had to get out this morning, a morning where it's flurrying little pellets of snow. I got out of my truck, and when I hit the metal of the door, I got a static shock so intense that my knuckles hurt. I consider this my comeuppance for a game I play with the cats who live at my folks' house--you know, where I pet them until a static charge builds up, and then touch their ears or nose.
• However, I'll keep doing this. I live in constant fear that a mad scientist will find a way to embiggen your average housecat to monstrous size. When this happens, I want the cats to know that I have a demonstrable knowledge of such things as static electricity. I want them to respect this knowledge.
• I'll keep feeding the cats, though. Just so emphasize my usefulness.
• I really, really don't want to go that way, eaten by a giant housecat. But if I should go that way, I would prefer to be taken quickly, and not be toyed with. That is why I fatten myself on a constant basis. I figure that if I make myself as tasty a treat as possible, instead of being all wiry and gristle-y, the giant housecat won't have a choice but to eat ol' delectable me as quickly as possible.
• I switched over to the new blogger yesterday. I'm hoping that I can republish the entire blog, and they'll reappear. Otherwise, me and a sackful of doorknobs might have to go talk to those folks at Blogger. There's a lot of good crap in those archives. At least 7 or 8 of my 2480 or so posts are worthy of a "Life in These United States" section of Reader's Digest.