Tuesday, September 04, 2007

A glimpse into my universe....

A glimpse into my universe....

(It might do you well to look at the post that immediately follows this one on the page before reading this one....)

It was a quiet yet nagging paranoia that followed me last evening, like an accusing spectre child.

There was a brief discussion at work, where I referenced Captain Caveman. Actually, the discussion was whether I could suddenly scream my name at the top of my lungs, and then have a brief spurt of superpowers. I finished my statement with the phrase "just like Captain Caveman."

"Who?" they said.

I was flustered.

Who the heck hasn't heard of Captain Caveman? I mean, it's one thing for these kids at work (and I do mean kids...there's a gaggle of them now born after the first Gulf War) to not get an A-Team reference, or an Alf reference, or even a Beavis and Butthead reference. But Captain Caveman? What self-respecting child hasn't sat through an afternoon of Cartoon Network and caught the Very First Superhero?

I mean, I know there are no such things as Saturday morning cartoons, anymore. And I know that the interweb and cable television have splintered the consciousness and attention of today's youth to the point that creating any cross-cultural experience anymore is muchly akin to herding cats.

But Who Hasn't Heard of Captain Caveman?

As I travelled through the evening, for whatever reason, my mind was gripped with that accusatory paranoia. It's a narcissistic thing, I grant you. Damn near solipsistic, I'd say. This singular thought popped into my head as I walked the store checking locks:

"What if there really isn't such a thing as Captain Caveman?"

What if somehow, I'd imagined the whole thing?

Fact of the matter is, I'd directed the person to this blog, to give an example of the said hairyman. I was sure that when I got home, I could simply go to Youtube and some nice folks there would have helped me out before even I could ask.

But the sudden, completely irrational thought hit me. And then, it was ever-constant in me.

It wasn't a drowning, smothering thought, something that I couldn't push away to take care of all the things you have to do in doing your job. But, truth be told, my job is not necessarily one that demands thought all the time--perhaps something of my recent irritation with it can be derived from that, but that's really neither here nor there. Point is, I'm not having to think all the time at my job, so there are those spare moments where my brain can suddenly return to the neurosis at hand:

What if there's no such thing as Captain Caveman, and this cultural icon that I've referenced actually is only and merely a figment of my imagination? What if my reference to Captain Caveman was like to referencing a deep conversation I had with an imaginary friend who's a spy for MI6? Or talking about a made-up girlfriend I'd had in another town? What if my mention of Captain Caveman was something blatantly obvious as untrue, yet it held as something I seemed to cling to as a pivotal and essential truth in life?

So now, I'm left with a mission. I get home. I get online. I check baseball scores, and curse. I check my e-mail. I then wander to youtube.

Now, don't get me wrong. I was 99.98 percent sure of Captain Caveman's existance, as least in the realm of cartoons and/or popular culture. I knew that I'd watched the cartoons. I knew that there was indeed such a thing as Captain Caveman.

And Youtube proved me right. I found not just the opening of Captain Caveman's television program. I found entire episodes online. I posted one, and even watched another. They're entertaining in that Scooby-Doo kind of way. Very much in that Scooby-Doo kind of way.

But in that two or three seconds it took for Youtube to perform its search, my mind was already coming up with excuses as to why I couldn't post proof of my search. Something along the lines of "I just went to bed," and "I forgot." I figured I could ride that "I forgot" line for a few days, and hope that the issue was dropped.

But that doesn't mean the other window of my internet connection didn't hold all the information pertaining to a move to Butte, Montana, and all the info pertaining to starting a new life under a new name....

But no. Captain Caveman was real.

Moving onward, and upward....


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