Exophagy

On this particular Sunday, there was a sudden call: "Hey, want to get something to eat this morning?"

To which I replied "Oh hells, yes!!!!"

With four exclamation marks. Just like that.

Plans, dashed on the rocks on my drive, though. Sick kids.

You people with kids. I just dunno, sometimes.

Honestly. We survived millions of years. Won't they survive the sniffles long enough for me to get my biscuit and gravy on?

It's all good, though. Thankfully, those people at Hardee's know what the hell they're doing when it comes to all things biscuity.

So, I say all that to say all this: any trip to Knoxville is incomplete without a wandering through McKay's.

Did you know that?

I found a Legendary Shack Shakers CD. They're kinda new to me, but I dig 'em.

I also found a cheap copy of Germs, Guns & Steel, which is a book that has that sudden sychronicity of a new word in my life. It's been around a while, but suddenly everybody I know is reading it, or wanting to read it.

I say that it's like a new word. You know when you hear a new word. Let's say that new word is exophagy, which the internet describes as the practice, among cannibals, of not eating your own relatives (because you have to have boundaries).

Now, exophagy has always been a word (I mean, since we made words, I guess). But I learned it only recently, and I would be willing to be that the majority of you have just learned it, too.

Now watch! I bet suddenly, that word will pop up into the lexicon 300 times over the next week.

Now, did it just pop up? Or have you simply not noticed?

In this case, back to the point, I'm going to guess that I simply did not notice Germs, Guns and Steel. Which is fortunate for the book, since the folks who award the Pulitzer Prize very rarely ask me what I think.

Which is more the pity.

Anyway. Watching a little baseball. Braves and Tigers. I'm having a bit of a personal crisis with the Cubs, whose biggest claim to fame lately is a smackfight between a psycho I once thought of as my favorite pitcher in baseball, and a beloved teddy bear whose leadership philosophy seems to be speak softly, and carry a small stick.

I don't want to be one of those guys who screams get to get rid of management, but damn. I see a lazy team that doesn't seem to care that they lose, and is completely unable to adjust in any meaningful way.

The Cubs have had a handful of private meetings lately. The solution that's popping out on the media from the team? "Maybe Lou could hang the lineup earlier."

Really?

You're making more in one season playing a game, badly, than I'll make in my entire career of doing my job for 55 hours a week? And it pisses you off that you don't know when you'll be stepping up to the plate, or who you'll be batting behind?

I once again offer my services to any team in Major League Baseball. I will play for the league minimum (roughly 10 times my annual salary), and I will NEVER BITCH.

And I bitch a lot. Bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch bitch.

But pay me more to work 8 months a year, fly me all over the world and play a game?

Yeah. Hang the lineup whenthehellever. Do not care. I'm getting paid.

Anyway.

I'd like to Cubs to look into the whole practice of exophagy. I still think this is a team with as much talent as anybody in the National League Central. Seems that they are too busy chewing on each other, though....