Conversations with my Sister

More in the continuing conversation between my sister and me, usually via text or Blackberry messenger:

My sister chaperoned her school's class trip to Washington, DC, last week. On the trip back:

Tommy: So, are you guys driving back tonight?

April: Yep. And the kids are mad that the boys and girls can't sit together?

April: Dunno why I put a ? At the end of that.

Tommy: I was wondering.

Tommy: Man. I bet a lot of them wanted to do The Sex, too.

Tommy: You Teachers are assholes.

Tommy: Ass. Holes.

April: No. Chicken. None of us wanted to explain the doing of The Sex to the mommas.

Tommy: Why would you be doing The Sex to the mommas?

_____

Her school year is fixing to end:

April: I am ready for school to be over.

Tommy: OK. How long do you have left?

April: 3 days with kids, and then a few work days.

Tommy: That's not bad.

April. No. But the 8th graders have reached the goofy point and are attaching my clothespins to their hair, ears, nostrils and lips.

Tommy: Oh. So it's like teaching me.

April: Yep.

April: I just had to tell one kid to keep the clothespins on his face. They don't belong on his nipples.

_______

In which we're all afraid I'm going to end up a crazy old hermit:

April: The Chattanooga Library has Literary Speed Dating.

Tommy: What's that?

April: I don't know, but I think you get to meet people who like books.

Tommy: That's cool.

April: I thought so. Want me to look into it?

Tommy: You're married. Don't you think Jeff would be angry?

April: I don't think he would mind if my Book Buddy cleaned the house.

April: Actually, Jeff just told me he'd better mow the yard.

Tommy: He doesn't want you chasing him with a lawnmower.

April: Who? Jeff, or my Book Buddy?

Tommy: Both. Nobody wants you chasing them with a lawnmower. You crazy.

April: In my mind, the narrative voice of this message was Cleveland Brown.

Tommy: Mine too.