Conversations with my Sister
More in the continuing conversation between my sister and me, usually via text or Blackberry messenger:
My sister chaperoned her school's class trip to Washington, DC, last week. On the trip back:
Tommy: So, are you guys driving back tonight?
April: Yep. And the kids are mad that the boys and girls can't sit together?
April: Dunno why I put a ? At the end of that.
Tommy: I was wondering.
Tommy: Man. I bet a lot of them wanted to do The Sex, too.
Tommy: You Teachers are assholes.
Tommy: Ass. Holes.
April: No. Chicken. None of us wanted to explain the doing of The Sex to the mommas.
Tommy: Why would you be doing The Sex to the mommas?
Her school year is fixing to end:
April: I am ready for school to be over.
Tommy: OK. How long do you have left?
April: 3 days with kids, and then a few work days.
Tommy: That's not bad.
April. No. But the 8th graders have reached the goofy point and are attaching my clothespins to their hair, ears, nostrils and lips.
Tommy: Oh. So it's like teaching me.
April: I just had to tell one kid to keep the clothespins on his face. They don't belong on his nipples.
In which we're all afraid I'm going to end up a crazy old hermit:
April: The Chattanooga Library has Literary Speed Dating.
Tommy: What's that?
April: I don't know, but I think you get to meet people who like books.
Tommy: That's cool.
April: I thought so. Want me to look into it?
Tommy: You're married. Don't you think Jeff would be angry?
April: I don't think he would mind if my Book Buddy cleaned the house.
April: Actually, Jeff just told me he'd better mow the yard.
Tommy: He doesn't want you chasing him with a lawnmower.
April: Who? Jeff, or my Book Buddy?
Tommy: Both. Nobody wants you chasing them with a lawnmower. You crazy.
April: In my mind, the narrative voice of this message was Cleveland Brown.
Tommy: Mine too.