It was pointed out to me that my New Year's Resolution may not be feasible, as I will spend half my life screaming, and the other half unconscious.

Here are my New Year's Resolutions:

* I'll eat healthier.

* Read a little more.

* Stop Stalking David Letterman.

* Do More Hunting

* Learn to Tap Dance

* Speak Portugese fluently

* Run my own carpet cleaning business.

* Become the World's Best Trombone player.

* Become George Brett.

Happy New Year.