This from my friend Diane:

Three surgeons were at a bar, arguing over who had the best surgical skills.

The first began: "Three years ago, I reattached seven fingers on a concert pianist. He went on to give a concert for the Queen of England."

The second then said: "That's nothing. A few years ago, a runner was in a horrible accident. His arms and legs were severed. I reattached them. He went on to win gold in the Olympics!"

The third laughed at them both, and said: "I've got you both beat. A few years ago, I attended to a cowboy. He was high on cocaine and alcohol when he rode on his horse head on into a Santa Fe freight train going over a hundred miles an hour! All I had left to work with was the horse's ass and a ten gallon hat, and two years ago, he was elected President!"