Joe "Joebo" Thomas knows that I'm not very smart. I think he realized this in twelfth-grade pre-calculus when he saw me trying to draw a picture using a pencil wedged in the cover of my TI-81 Calculator.

Of course, of all the people I've ever known, he probably laughed at the absolute most inopportune moment in all of history. Our teacher had been discussing a cancer scare, and Joe and I were laughing at something else (probably Brad Miller, another of our compatriots who once asked me whether I'd be going to Heaven and Hell, as if it weren't patently obvious). Joe laughed at cancer. At least, that was the implication. And we both happened to make eye contact with Ms. Bryan. By miracle, I had managed to stop laughing. Joe had not.

But I digress.

Joe knows I'm stupid. I'm often at a loss for words. Especially cuss words.

So he sent me help, in the form of Roger's Profanisaurus. I've had great fun with it in the hour or so I dug around in it. It's worth the price of admission for the F's and S's alone.

Today's profane word:

Cupcake: To expel gas into one's hand, and then deposit it into another person's face.