28-24

28-24


From the e-mail:

A seven-year-old boy was at the center of a courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him.

The boy had a history of being beaten by his parents, and the judge, in keeping with child custody laws and regulations requiring family unity be maintained to the degree possible, initially awarded custody to his aunt.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him worse than his parents, and he adamantly refused to stay with her.

When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out that they beat him even more severely than any of his other family members.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family's tendencies towards violence, the judge took the unprecedented stop of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.

After several recesses to check legal precedent, to confer with child services, to ponder the issue, this Saturday, the judge finally decided to award custody of the boy to the University of Tennessee football team.

Because they can't beat anybody.

Wokka.

I'll be here the rest of 2005.

Tip the wait staff....