Thursday, May 27, 2004

Gives a Whole New Meaning to "He's Good People..."

Gives a Whole New Meaning to "He's Good People...."

You know, Boing Boing had this story, and when I read it, I had to do a double take, just to make sure I was reading it right.

Media exposure forces government to respond to hair-into-soy sauce scandal

Not our government. The Chinese government. Our government concerns itself with whether aging pop stars show boob on TV.

China Central Television (CCTV), the state television station, first raised public worries over the quality of domestic soy sauce by uncovering a substandard workshop in central China's Hubei Province, where piles of waste human hair were found. The hairs were treated in special containers to distill amino acid, the most common substance contained in soybean sauce.

Mmmmm. Hair.

Jeebus. Was the plant run by the Chinese equivalent of Vincent Price?

"Well, I've inspected every part of the plant, and while I'm not happy with the lack of running water or any cleaning agents, the stench, and the general horrid, even dangerous, working conditions. But I believe I'm going to let this plant pas....Waitaminnit....I haven't looked in those barrels.

"Mother of Mercy! Why are these barrels filled with human hair?!??!?!?!?!"

"What!?!? It's perfectly good! You expect me to let these 17 fifty-gallon drums of human hair just go to waste! That's ludicrous! I can't let such a protein rich commodity just go to waste!"

Upon further thought, I think a more proper casting of the proprietor of such a creepy practice would have to be someone along the lines of Willem Dafoe, or maybe Steve Buscemi....


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