Well, fuck me running....

Well, fuck me running...


Created by OnePlusYou

Surprising, a bit.

But then, I do enjoy cussing.

Seen over at Bill's.

Stop Being Full of Shit

Stop Being Full of Shit

Yep. Upon further review, I still think you are all full of shit.

Some of you simply have a higher shit capacity than others.

In lieu of content, I bring you this picture of a giraffe trying to get it on with a donkey.



Is this what they mean when they say "get some ass?"

I wouldn't have thought so before, but I do now.

Weather....

Weather...

Working down south of my home, now. Getting used to the drive. It's a nice time. A quiet time. I tend to think this blog is the closest glimpse people get to see of what goes on inside my brain on a daily basis. The words and images you see here on this blog? A close representation of what goes on up in my noggin. The only difference? The words you see printed on the screen before you are scattershot into my brain, shouted in a voice that alternates between Eddie Murphy as Donkey in the Shrek movies, and Robin Leach screaming at the top of his lungs.

Anyway. My drive home tonight was relatively uneventful, except for when I made my way down the exit ramp toward Athens.

Damn, it's dark, I thought.

It took a second, actually, before that struck me as terribly odd.

The Athens interstate exit's a lot like any you find here in the states, nowadays. There are any number of businesses with lighted signs that illuminate the night, no matter how dark. But, I get to the end of the ramp, and there's no Waffle House, no Burger King sign. No Shell station, no Kangaroo.

What's more, there's no traffic lights. There's just the one, coming back in from the interstate. And there were no other cars, save an APD car with its spotlight trained on the power poles, looking for a dropped wire, I would reckon.

The wind was hellacious.

I like that word. I've made the challenge before, but I'm making it again: Find a way to use the word "hellacious" in your every day conversation today.

Anyway. Hellacious wind. At one point, it gets so strong that it rips open my toolbox in the bed of my truck. I've never had that happen before. Suddenly, my truck had batwings.

The darkness stretched for about a mile. The silhouettes of the Applebees and the Wendy's and the Raceway gas station made the lights conspicuous by their absence....never noticed how god-blasting bright those things are. Until they're not there.

Well, I say all that, to say this. Somebody's big ass has to pull himself out of bed 5 hours from now, to head back to work. If you've ever wondered why I call the site Big Stupid Tommy, I'm thinking we're round about hitting that bugger on the head, with that little snippet of personal info, right there.

Anyway. This has been a successful post, if only because I was successful in spelling "conspicuous" on the second try...no small feat, given my current state of sleep deprivation....

Cub Blogging

Cub Blogging

I wonder the last time I actually did a Chicago Cubs-related blog post. Probably early in the last season. I latched onto a bit of self-centric uber-paranoia, where I came to believe that any mention of the boys in blue on this page tended to be the catalyst for a Cub losing streak.

So?

What followed was a display of will-power unmatched over the course of my life. If I could find a way to funnel that manner of neurosis to curb my love of Wendy's....

Anyway. I've been following with a touch of skepticism this whole Kosuke Fukudome thing. Granted, I've been hollering most of my natural born fandom for the Cubs to find a solid left handed bat to plant in the middle of the order. But...and call me a luddite...call me obstinate...call me quietly pessimistic. Yeah, you got your Ichiro, and your relative success of Hideki and Kaz Matsui. I just still think of the guys from Japan still as unproven commodities.

Not smart, probably, given the evidence. But I never once claimed to be smart. That said, I'm just not going to go nuts over planting the guy in right field.

But, I'm not unhappy. A left-handed bat? Like I said, I've been praying to Jeebus. And my parents' dogs would be an improvement over the free-swinging, slow and decrepit mess we've had out in right since Sammy left.

And on the interweb, I can only think of one feller who surpassed my personal anti-Sammy sentiments....

Anyway. I want to voice one more opinion: the hot stove season drives me nuts. We're 100+ days still away from actual baseball that counts being played. And somehow, that seems quite unfair....

Winterizing your cat

Winterizing your Cat

Winter can be rough on cats, so unless you live in a warm or moderate climate, here's a list of things you can do to make sure your vehicle is ready for the upcoming cold season.

Things You'll Need:

Gloves
Blankets
Windshield Wiper Fluid
Wiper Blades
Kitty Litters
Small Snow Shovels
Auto Emergency Kits
Flashlights
Ice Scrapers
Tire Gauges

Steps

1. Don't put off a 30,000-mile full service, if your cat is due.

2. Flush the cat's cooling system and replace the coolant.

3. Replace the cat's windshield wiper blades. Put windshield washer fluid in the cat's windshield washer reservoir (plain water will freeze).

4. Have the cat's battery serviced (clean the battery terminal ends and add water) and load-tested to check its ability to hold a charge. If the battery is more than 4 1/2 years old, replace it.

5. Use a tire gauge to check the tire pressure. Air contracts with cold, and the tires may become low as the temperature drops.

6. Make sure there is air in the spare tire and that all the proper tire-changing equipment is in the cat's trunk.

7. Make sure your cat's tires are in good condition. If you are not sure what this means, ask a mechanic (in a shop that doesn't sell tires) for an opinion.

8. Check the cat's lights, heater and defroster.

9. Keep the cat's gas tank as full as possible to prevent moisture from freezing in the gas lines.

10. Get a brake check if your cat hasn't had one in the last six months.

11. Put together an emergency winter kit for the trunk of your cat: blanket, extra boots and gloves, ice scraper, small snow shovel, flashlight and kitty litter (for traction when stuck in the snow).

Be the Blog

Be the Blog



Tish tagged me the other day with this badge, and it's gotten me to thinking.

First, I've been tagged a couple of times by a couple different people, and while I appreciated it, I didn't pay it forward like I should have. So, I'd like to make up on some account there.

Second, this one's right up my alley, as far as keeping a blog goes. The badge's creator says it's intended to signify that "a successful blogger is one who can “be the blog” - making it their own, staying with it, interacting with the readers, and just plain having fun."

Truth be told, that's a nice compliment, hearing that. What I like about the blog is that it's whatever I feel like it being. I don't come in with any particular agenda (unless it's the excess taxation of liquor). I just write whatever stupid shit's running through my head. The fact that I get sevens of readers a day shows that there are a couple of you who are likewise entertained by the dribble that pops out when I've eaten one too many bowls of Froot Loops.

And, at the end of the day, the blogs you see over on the left hand sidebar are a lot the same in that respect. To a person, nobody's bludgeoning you to death with a particular idea, viewpoint or political agenda. It's just a good group of folks who seem to write what they enjoy, or like me, what amuses them.

So, a couple blogs I'd like to tag:

Newscoma. Don't know just how long I've been reading her site now...maybe a year. There's always a lot of great stuff there. We try not to hold her St. Louis Cardinal fandom against her.

Danielle at Missives Anonymous. Danielle's blog was one of the first I linked to, when I started blogging. This was before a foray into the Rocky Top Brigade...I don't know when I realized that she was blogging from Middle Tennessee just like me (at the time). Since then, I'm wandered to the other end of the state, and she's gone to the other side of the planet....

Dave at Perfect Blue Buildings. Dave's blog if not completely in timbre, seems to match the intent of mine. He just writes about whatever's on his mind. I always enjoy that.

Erica, at her blog. I thought of her blog when I first saw Tish's post. I remember commenting, once upon a time, on Erica's blog, that one of the reasons I kept coming back day after day was her absence of agenda....

So, there. Four blogs. Not at all to say that no others are worthy. Just wanted to point those four out...

Thoughts on a Sunday

Thoughts on a Sunday

Been muddling through the past couple of days with a cold I picked up at work. I don't know if everybody's workplace is like mine, but it seems like if one person gets sick, sooner or later, everybody's going to get sick with it. Maybe it's got something to do with the fact that we all wash out of one communal bowl. I got the idea from the movie Thirteenth Warrior. I thought it would increase camaraderie, but to this point, it's only increased the amount of illness and herpes.

Despite the cold, I headed down to Atlanta last night. Had a surprise Saturday off, and decided that it's so close to the end of the baseball season, might as well take advantage of the day.

Plus, the game had some divisional and playoff implications for the N.L. Central. The Brewers were in town, and any time they lose is of great help to another team whose name cannot be mentioned here.

Anyway. Got to see John Smoltz go into the sixth with a no-no. He ended up giving up two runs in eight innings, only to take home a no decision. I gotta wonder, even at 40 years old, with 20 years of professional baseball under his belt, if he doesn't sometimes watch the developing game in the hands of the bullpen, and have some small part of his brain just go completely insane....

Still, the Braves won in 11 innings. Good game. Enjoyed myself.

Gotta head to work later this afternoon, which doesn't please me so much.

Ever get that person who says to you "You should be happy you have a job?"

Want to punch that person in the mush? Or is that just me?

Yeah, working beats not working, I suppose, but only because Not Working's bullpen lets them down when it counts.

Anyway. Should get a couple more Quantum Leap posts up. Sheila's got a guide to where we both are at this point. I may watch a third episode this morning...

A sporting rerun

A Sporting ReRun

Somebody did a google search on the guy in the story. I like to think that it was the guy who got his nuts ripped off.

From September of 2005:

Wow.

Ya gotta want it. That's all I can say.

Well, that, and Soccer Players are just about the stupidest people on the planet. I mean, honestly, who wants to run up and down a field for an hour and a friggin' half to end a ballgame in a tie?!?!?

But that's not why I'm here tonight.

I'm here to link to the story from Fark, where a soccer player named Chavdar Yankow had a pretty rough day at the ballpark. I'll just quote the whole shebang:

A footballer had to have six stitches in his penis after it was ripped open in a tackle.

Chavdar Yankow, 21, sustained a three-inch gash playing for Hamburg 96 in Germany.

His shorts were "soaked with blood" but team doctors managed to patch Yankow up.

Amazingly, after the painful incident Yankow returned to the pitch and played on.

And the German went on to score in his side's 2-0 win over Frankfurt.

You know, I've never been an athlete outside of your beer softball league, so I'm not the best person to ask about the psyche of the athlete.

But I will say this: Outside of me stitching it up to pitch in the seventh game of the World Series for the Chicago Cubs, if I've taken an injury serious enough to need stitches in the manhood, you can probably count me out.

You'll see this line in the preview:

Tommy...Doubtful (Privates)

Still, Chavdar's made himself a helluva reputation, now. If you can take a slash to the junk and get back up and play, more power to you. I'm staying out of his way. Chavdar certainly can't take anything I'm going to dish out, and I'm not slashing privates.

Let me also say this: I don't know much about soccer. Like I said, to me, it's either a bunch of suburban kids running off a sugar buzz, or it's crazy Europeans who were too drunk to learn to swing a cricket bat, running around for an hour and a half, under the pretense of kicking a ball in one direction or the other, and then going home, drinking and (I would assume) collapsing. But I do know that nearly cutting a guy's pecker off is not how you play the game.

I hope the guy who tackled him got some kind of foul. He deserves a punch in the face, at the very least.

As if the running weren't enough to keep me away from the game....

HBO

HBO

Speaking of stupid TV tunes that inexplicably get stuck in my noggin.

Sometimes

Sometimes

Sometimes, I get the theme from Dallas stuck in my head.

Which is something of a mystery, considering I haven't seen an episode since the show went off its original run.

Snuh

Snuh

Were it not for the fact that urinals splash back on to my legs, I'd have one in my living room.

As I get older in life, I find myself thinking more and more that I could easily switch to long pants, and have that urinal of my dreams in convenient proximity to my television.

Awesome!!!!

Awesome!!!

Which one of you jokers reported me to the Net Authority?

It might be the fact that I pray to Superman.

But today, I'll blame Gunny Walker, mostly because of all my hate speech against him. I need to remind him, that Gunny Walker is not a group of people.

That's a scary thought, a bunch of Gunnies walking around.

Though if there were, I think you'd have to refer to a group of Gunnies as a "Sack."

Edit: Is this thing a joke? If it is, I've gotten a couple of really weird e-mails in the past several hours....

Anyway, it may be a joke, because there are tags you can attach to your site. I've added one on the left. Because it is my duty. The interweb told me so.